Affable, sweater-wearing junior social work major Matt Wallace avoided anyone he knows seeing him on a date with an insufficiently attractive girl by taking her to the unpopular North Logan restaurant Black Pearl Sushi instead of one of his preferred haunts.
“My resolve was weak that day,” Wallace said of agreeing to go out with...
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In the greatest blow to journalistic excellence since a nazi bullet took Ernie Pyle’s life, The Truant is not going to make fun of Harry Caines’ Unconventional Wisdom column this week. This might lead one to believe that The Truant would not be making fun of Harry Caines this week. Wrong.
Last Friday night, Dickhouse...
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Although preliminary sales figures were unavailable as of press time, a quick poll of area -tenders and -flies (bar) revealed the skyrocketing popularity of ‘Skin’ brand clothing among clueless (or not) bargoers immediately following a Columbine-style shooting at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C.
An actual company, ‘Skin’ is dedicated to providing consumers with...
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MOUNTAIN VIEW TOWERS – Sophomore geology major Jerry Lewandowski is always implying that he’s been drinking whenever he texts his circle of friends and the two girls he knows, who are both very fat.
Lewandowski, 21, has been infatuated with telling people he’s been drinking since he first forced down a Joseph Hoffbauer Light at some...
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