SDE
Ed.–In the wake of being dropped by another sponsor (Gatorade), the best golfer in the world–Tiger Woods–took the opportunity Monday to do his famous mea culpa speech over again. The following is exclusive audio footage of Woods’ do-over:
“Good morning. Thank you for being here for this do-over, and let me assure you all that...
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In a move that has the Muslim community up in arms, Claire Chennault, Head Editor in Charge, of the Oscar-nominated internet news magazine, The Truant, has announced that by the end of the month burqas will be banned in and around the office, mostly because god is not real. Chennault is a devout Catholic.
The...
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Local busboy Jake Tavares has always aspired to collect a whole bunch of corks from wine bottles, and then make his own cork board when he finally has enough.
“Then I could put up a bunch of neat pictures on it,” Tavares sighed wistfully, “and other stuff.”
Tavares’ roommate, German exchange student Klaus Von Zauderberg, has...
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PRESS RELEASE FROM THE OFFICES OF THE TRUANT
In the worst news since Cincinnati Bengal’s wide receiver Chris Henry actually died, Truant’s Benevolent Dictator for Life, Nixon Dickhouse was forced to cut said dead ball catcher from his fantasy football team.
With the fantasy semifinals looming this Sunday, where Dickhouse will be playing Intern Ryan ‘Scrappy’ Larsen’s...
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A local madman who turned a shotgun on a handful of strangers in a K-Mart parking lot is being criticized by police and media for a boring, unintelligent, crazy plan.
“Basically anyone could have come up with this,” Chief of Police Brad Jensen said. “Oh, you’re going to shoot as many people as possible in...
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Ed note. This is special feature by this hippie chick who has been hanging around the office. Named uh, Yessica Notel. Yup, That sounds hippie enough to me.
In reviewing newest season of Entourage, an HBO series that is in its sixth season I couldn't help but notice the over indulgence that distracts me from...
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Before Dickhouse decked him in a fight over a young woman's attention, sending him wailing from the office never to be seen again, Claire Chennault was The Truant's best and most prolific writer. We're oh-so glad he's gone, and things are much better now, but that being said, we miss his production. Basically he's...
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As if the memory of the tragic events of 9/11 were not enough to hold September accountable as the cruelest month in American history, last night U.S. citizens and people of the world alike were gifted yet another tragedy to permanently etch on their yearly calendars, as war hero, philanthropist, Oscar winning actor, famed...
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The National Football League, Philadelphia Eagles and Michael Vick continued to bathe in the wrath of a nation of people who suddenly love animals. For a moment, at least, the focus is off health care, as America gets very self-righteous on Vick, a wicked, wicked Black man.
“See this Black guy?” asked Roger Mero of...
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