Man unsure if woman he is having sex with is hot
Chad Chadderson, a 23 year old bachelor, has never seemed to be more conflicted over whether or not the girl he was currently piping, was in fact, hot or not.
Natalie Rivera, A preppy-ass-bitch Chadderson met at Books of Yesterday and who any bystander would agree, is a hot piece of ass and slightly out of his league, took a noted interest in Chadderson. While Chadderson tried to find a first edition of Fitzgerald’s Tender is the Night , Rivera made light conversation until Chadderson ran out of shit to say or just didn’t care. After a few moments of awkward silence he came to the only logical conclusion. He had to fuck her.
Chadderson took Rivera skiing Friday and the pair finished the date exchanging fuck-faces on Rivera’s 200 thread count sheets. Despite Chadderson’s dong being harder than chinese arithmetic, he was more unsure than ever whether or not Natalie was indeed, attractive. Chadderson fucked her while in an almost catatonic state, staring past her head like she was some sort of Magic Eye poster.
“When her head went out of focus, she looked like a goddamn playmate, it was awesome,” recalling the 22 minute bone-sesh. Rivera being the proud owner of some real-fake 34C’s, Chadderson said he felt like it was not only his right, but duty to crush that hoe in eight different positions. Taking what was his for god and country. But finish on her stomach, because he is a gentleman and chivalry is far from dead.
The 23 year old bar manager at Hamiltons won accolades from his friends and roommates for his quick thinking under pressure. “All my friends say, ‘Chad, that chick is hot, You’re hitting that?,’ but I just don’t see it I guess. She has one of those horse-faces, and a matching set of horse nipples.” said Chadderson, who immediately left the house after he busted nut, because he can’t stand the awkward intimacy that is inevitable post-orgasm and also because Rivera’s apartment smelled like poor people.
“Free pussy is free pussy, Am I right?” Chadderson said about his date cavalierly putting a cheek full of Skoal in his maw. “We went on a date, we got a beer, she invited me in, I pounded her. It seemed like the right thing to do.” The sex was reportedly great for both parties but a second date has been described by Chadderson as “doubtful.”
Poor people? Gross.