Hipster is really good at finding cool stuff at the D.I.

A local 20something Jeff Kanderton spent his lunch break Thursday hitting the DI and filing through racks of clothing donated to the Mormon Goodwill store, searching for fashion accouterments that can add to his already well-rounded closet.

“Oh this sweater? I found this ish(sic’d) at the D.I. Pretty cool huh?” Kanderton, appearing as if Urban Outfitters threw up all over him, remarked. “Yeah man, I find cool shit there all the time. but you really have to have an eye for the good stuff.

“I really want to find a pair of wing tips that I can wear to church, nothing overstated. I don’t want to seem like a dick, Jesus hates fashion statements,” said Kanderton, ascribing even more man-like qualities to a God who probably doesn’t exist, but if he did, probably wouldn’t give a shit what you wore to worship him.

Kanderton is balding from all his Christian guilt and nearly catatonic from his soul-crushing existence as pencil pusher at the local Wells Fargo bank. It’s a job he went 20k into debt and spent four years getting a degree for, so he could get a mediocre home on a small lot here in Cache Valley, keep up with the mortgage and try really hard to get one of those callings in the Mormon Church where he gets to sit on the dais and judge everyone who comes to sacrament meeting late. You know, all powerful and shit.

“If we were in Austin, or Los Angeles, this vintage 1998 Old Navy half-zip sweater would be 40 bucks in any authentic vintage clothing boutique you’d be lucky enough to find it in,” said Kanderton, who always matches his belt with his shoes. The irony being that the late-model sweater is only $14 a mile-and-a-half away at the actual Old Navy.

Kanderton showed off his Ralph Lauren windbreaker, which to the layperson looks just like a regular ass zip-up, and explained how it is actually a treasure that would fetch over $400 at a vintage clothing shop. Friends say Kanderton is no stranger to sartorial elegance and has been pointing out their faults for years. Kanderton reminded us how it doesn’t cost a lot to look nice, and that people should express themselves more through their clothes.  Kanderton  explained, “I’ve have always fancied myself a bit stylish, I grow a lazy beard a few times a year and wear black rimmed glasses occasionally, but not enough to wear that look out. And I never roll up my pleated khakis, especially ones with triple pleats. How boorish!”

“I could really use some nice mother-of-pearl cufflinks, but you know, I’d have nowhere to wear them,” Kanderton said while experimenting with different tie knots on this his new-to-him end on end, spread-collared shirt with french cuffs. “I’ll just take these shirts down to the local haberdasher and have then taken in a bit, so they fit me perfectly,” Kanderton said, admiring his Oscar De La Renta blazer. “I wish this thing had a sash lapel, rather than a peaked one…oh well.”

“You take a nice pair of madras shorts and match it with a nice American apparel deep-V shirt, you’ll look all dope,” Kanderton noted. He wistfully hopes that LDS will change its stance on alcohol, as it has with plural marriage, black people holding the priesthood, and soon to be ‘the gays’. “I think a  Pabst Blue Ribbon might be the only thing missing from my carefully crafted look and/or personality.”

Tags: cache valley, fashion, hipsters, pabst, people who work late, people with skinny jeans, whimsy

This entry was posted on March 2, 2010 at 4:02 am and is filed under Boys, Get Money. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.