FJM Style: Herald Journal Resident of the Year nominations
Sunday’s edition of the Herald Journal contained “some of the nominations offered at hjnews.com for Cache Valley Resident of the Year.” You know we could not let that slide.
- Stan Albrecht
He has laid there and taken it like a champ from the Utah Legislature.
- “Feelright” with the Cache Valley Radio Group. When I worked long morning shifts, I was surprised how much I enjoyed the KLZX morning show. He’s indirectly a working-class hero.
Then maybe he will settle for indirectly – as in not at all – winning Resident of the Year.
- Eric Markworth, principal of Hillcrest Elementary School.
If we had found out that any kid at our school had nominated our principal for an award of any kind, we would have made that kid play the queer in our games of smear the queer for a month. What a fucking brown-nose.
- Brent Carpenter … He is one of the happiest people in Logan. I wish there were more people here that could see the bright side of things instead of always the negative.
Okay, this is basically saying the writer wishes more people in Cache Valley were retarded. Kind of a weird sentiment, but hey, it sounds funny to us!
- Craig Jessop! He has revitalized the music department at USU, brought in big names in the music industry to benefit USU music students, and reminded our community how much fun we can have when we share our talents with each other. Every concert has been entertaining and uplifting. And at a time when economics are tight, the ticket prices to their events are reasonable and family-friendly. Bravo to Craig Jessop for returning to the little valley that gave him his start in a distinguished career.
Craig Jessop is NOTHING compared to Michael Ballam. ALL THE SUCCESS OF THE UTAH STATE MUSIC PROGRAM IS DUE TO MICHAEL BALLAM’S PRESENCE. HE IS A BIG SHINING STAR AND CRAIG JESSOP IS JUST ANOTHER SAD, PATHETIC STARFUCKER.
- Dr. Davy McClay, he goes above and beyond to help the scouts in this valley pass off their requirements for eagle. That takes a lot of dedication! He volunteers to help people do their yard work, and shovel their snow. He’s concious of the environment by driving an electric car.
One of our friends got his “eagle” merit badge in the boy scouts. We think he smoked a bunch of bud and painted like five picnic tables in a park somewhere.
- I think Abe Farah from the hyperbaric and wound clinic should get some recognition. Abe has saved my life and more.
If Farah legitimately saved someone’s life, then this is a strong nomination. Unless “hyperbaric” is feminist code for some kind of exotic abortion that Jerry Falwell thinks of as a litmus test for Supreme Court Justices. In which case we’re with Falwell.
- I vote for Dr. Tom Higbee. He has done so much for the families in this valley that have autistic kids. More than I can put into words.
Good idea, but … why not nominate an actual autistic child? See nomination number five.
- The recent municipal election was so lively (except for the pathetic voter turnout). I loved seeing all the letters on the editorial pages and all the excitement about the candidates and their positions. Brannon and Michelle King had a lot to do with all that. They received nothing for it – except for the satisfaction that they gave what they could to make our community better. I only voted for one of their candidates. Fine. But I really appreciate all they did to try to enliven this community. I truly want Brannon and Michelle to be recognized as citizens of the year.
These are the nitwits who will only endorse candidates who answer “yes” to all the questions on their little constitution questionnaire. Because there’s a very real danger that the mayor of Logan will suspend habeas corpus without Brannon (his real name) and Michelle being there to, you know, like, guard against that.
- Jim Laub. I did a little work for Jim this past year. Of course, he paid promptly
You are supposed to pay promptly. Jim did not make his millions by being unfamiliar with this basic business principle. We guess that in a society of very low expectations this might qualify as admirable.
and complemented my work. Well, I just got a Christmas card with a $100 gift certificate to Home Depot. I certainly didn’t expect this. If anything, I should have sent him a Christmas card along with a gift of gratitude. Jim and Carol are as giving as anyone in this valley. They really do share their success with the community, and they do so every year.
This sounds like it’s more about you realizing you left your biggest account off your Christmas card list and trying to make up for it in an extremely transparent way. Go buy some new bathroom fixtures and stay off the internet, goofball.
- I want to nominate my mom, Sandy Emile. She’s been part of the community for a while, and has given a lot. The Nutcracker and her other producations are just an example (Then again maybe I’m biased).
Yes, you are biased and you are not allowed to nominate your own parents. Jesus H. Christ, Herald Journal, who is running this gong show?
/nominates rich uncle
- Dr. Matt Hammond. He was just released from the military after serving as a doctor for our troops. He now offers many various services that you couldn’t get in Cache Valley before his return. Better yet, he’s a great guy … no one could speak poorly of him!
“Various services,” eh? Sounds seamy. ed. – He’s an eye doctor, according to google.
- I vote for Big Blue! I feel so Aggie and proud whenever I see him.
“Aggie” is not a feeling. “Oh man, my car broke down, I’m feeling utterly Tar Heels!”
[...] a Resident of the Year award, and the good people of Logan, America were using the opportunity to nominate their child’s dance instructor. Earlier this week, the HJ’s Letters to the Editor section provided a bully pulpit for a [...]
Jesus H. Christ Herald Journal, who is running this gong show? Brent. Probably Brent.
Jesus Gatewood, you jerkin off in Creative Arts again? we aren’t going to catch you in the steam room with Ballam are we? it was enough to lose one creative arts teacher to you in there.