THE INTERNETS – Famous Facebook group “Petition to save higher education in Utah” has not accomplished anything of note, despite garnering mounds of press clippings and heaps of accolades as “a shining example of what the power of democracy is capable of in the era of social networking and ubiquitous connectivity,” or something, read...
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Archive for May, 2009
Facebook group fails to accomplish anything
Botched suicide leaves man hanging
Last night a local Utah man did not want to be alive, but due to a small slip-up of his own, he still is. In one of the most hilarious suicide attempts in recent memory, Reed Allen of Logan, Utah, tried to hang himself from the reinforced wooden beam in his kitchen, but failed...
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U of U graduate happy he didn’t end up with ‘college slut’
"It was close," remarked a recent University of Utah Graduate and job seeker of ending up with college slut, Chelsea Masterson, something he had hoped for in years previous. Masterson, a widely known bar flooze, was according to most reports, 'not a hard button to push.'
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‘Statesman’ columnist is really quirky
TSC BASEMENT – New Utah Statesman columnist Joe Don Stanley uses his twice-weekly column in the ‘Aggie Life’ section to manifest his myriad personality quirks in front of the student body. Intended to be humorous, Stanley’s musings on his own creeping dementia have been running for three weeks now in the Statesman, to generally...
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Woman has miscarriage, keeps it
Making a bold pro-life statement reflecting her stance on abortion, yesterday a local pregnant woman had a miscarriage and decided to keep it. Laura Peterson, a 24 year-old Utah woman was four months in to her pregnancy when during the night she began to experience the blood loss and discharge that are common predecessors...
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The Truant’s 100th Article Awards Issue
Ed. note – The Truant staff is finally starting to sober up from their annual new years eve bash and we’d like to take some time as a staff to recognize those who were exceptional in the year of 2008. This article in our magazine also represents the 100th article we have published, not...
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Truant humor gets undergrad nowhere with date
HAMILTON’S – Business Administration junior Brandon Wagner remembers he and his date had just started their salads when he decided to repeat something he had seen on The Truant, in an effort to make Brooke Olson, 21, think he was a funny and cute.
“I had the tossed green salad with ranch, she had the...
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Chinese Restaurant throws “Chink-o de Mayo” party, community calls foul
SAN DIEGO–A California restaurant is coming under heat from its community for hosting what some call a racist and distasteful celebration that impressively ridicules both Mexican heritage and Chinese people at the same time.
On the 5th of May, Chung’s Red Dragon, a Chinese restaurant located in San Diego held its own Cinco de...
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