Mulatto beside himself during race riot
VIDOR, TX— A race riot broke out in an eastern Texas town leaving local mulatto, Dwayne Lennon, beside himself. Vidor, a small Texas town still known for its racial tensions, was stet ablaze last Saturday night after local Caucasian resident Brent Benson, said that in last year’s presidential election he voted for John McCain “because he was white”.
Benson was speaking to a friend in Jimmy Jerry’s Bar & Pool hall, when the comment was over-heard by two black men who were quick to call Todd a “fucking cracker racist” and each broke a pool stick over his nose. From there it turned violent as a racially fueled melee ensued and flooded out on to Vidor’s busy Main Street, where the citizens were quick to fire bomb first then choose their sides.
Lennon, whose mother is a dark-skinned African American woman and whose father was probably a red-headed white man, was walking his Dalmatian down the alley in between Church’s Chicken and the Swiss Miss factory when he heard a scream and saw fire burst from the local liquor mart.
“I ain’t done seen my dog jump like that in a coons age,” Lennon said [Ed note: A “coon’s age” is about eight and a half years]. “And Just after that a white woman came running around the corner and Big Terrance, one of my black friends who thinks that I only got a melanin deficiency, smashed her over the head with a brick and stole her Steve Maddens, for Myra, his bitch. But right after that,” Lennon continued, “Terrance got his, as ol’ Joe Tate shot him in the neck with his deer rifle then took the Jordans of Big T’s feets. It was a real mash-up, I swear to ya.”
After two hours of black v white mayhem, police called in from neighboring towns got the riot under control, reporting damages of hundreds of thousands dollars and the defacing of priceless monuments at the Vidor city town hall, namely the statue of Grant LeButte, town founder and slave owner, and an old Run-DMC poster that was stapled to a phone pole.
After making national headlines, this incident resurrected a question that many Americans wrestled with during last fall’s presidential elections: Is it racist to vote for someone because of their skin color? The laundry list of African American Celebrities that voiced their Hollywood-educated opinions about the elections by saying, “I’m voting for Obama because he’s black” is longer than we care to list (Oprah, every rapper on Mtv, Reverend-this, Community leader-that, the Baptists, that other black guy….), but isn’t that the exact same as a white person, famous or not, saying, “I’m voting for McCain because he is white”? The answer, according to good ol’ fashioned logic, says, “yes” the two statements are mirrors of each other and are both racially charged [Ed note: We didn’t really interview “good ol’ fashioned logic”, he’s always refused to answer calls from The Truant].
The second of the two statements, in which a white person says he or she would vote for a candidate because he or she was white, would be burned at the stake, but when a black person says the exact same thing about a black candidate its positive prime time exposure with Katie Couric and Clair Chennault. The stench filling this critique (if not the one that smells like, “Hey, this article is boring the fuck out of me and I only read The Truant for dick, fart, faggot, and fuck jokes), is a stench of a double standard and the odd power that tender race relations have over America’s media and a thoughtless majority of the public.
Two days after the riot in Vidor, The Truant presented mullato Dwayne Lennon with the paradox of this black and white racial double standard. After slugging it out between his half-white, half-black self, he decided that favoring any one thing over another simply based on racial homage is in fact racism, no matter how many celebrities endorse it. Even the cool ones.
Lennon, clearly torn by the issue of his ethnicity and the unfair amount of pressure put on him by The Truant’s media team, then allowed our reporters to watch him over-dose in phone booth. Unfortunately, the foam that came out of his nose and mouth had no official comment.