Local man lives close

LOGAN – Logan resident Russ Berker owns a passel of land close by, just over yonder. There, Berker performs the routine tasks of modern living with a sort of morbid finality, as if “layin sod out back” were his personal monument to future grateful generations.

Berker not only maintains his property – which is located extremely close – to a rigid standard, he seeks out and carries out between three and five proactive home-improvement projects annually. These, he undertakes with seriousness of purpose, taking grim satisfaction in the preparing of the most minor details, such as writing a list of necessary goods from the Home Depot, which can only be done using a flat contractor’s pencil.

After informing his wife Joyce that he is “runnin down to the Home Depot,” Berker crosses the items off his list steadfastly as he moves through the aisles, eschewing the help of ‘Tad’ or ‘Thad,’ the apron-wearing associate. Later, as he begins the actual work of layin sod, or buildin him a deck, or doin somethin up on the ruff, the news that he failed to procur some vital piece of equipment in his initial Home Depot run will be greeted with something approaching mortification; ie, “Shoot! Now I gotta run down to the dang Home Depot agin!”

Tags: close by, extremely close, just over yonder, layin sod out back, real close, Russ Berker, the dang Home Depot

This entry was posted on April 20, 2009 at 2:10 pm and is filed under Boys. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.