MOUNTAIN VIEW TOWERS – Sophomore geology major Jerry Lewandowski is always implying that he’s been drinking whenever he texts his circle of friends and the two girls he knows, who are both very fat.
Lewandowski, 21, has been infatuated with telling people he’s been drinking since he first forced down a Joseph Hoffbauer Light at some...
Read more »
In the wake of Chris Brown’s recent beating of girlfriend/popstar Rihanna, Brown’s long-time record label, Zomba, has decided to pull the plug on his greatest hits album that was slated to be released later this month.
“Chris chose an untimely time to beat his girlfriend,” said Art Phillips, spokes person of Zomba Records. “We’ve...
Read more »
CAPE TOWN – In a confusing move that is gathering international heat, the South African government has just denied the Dalai Lama a visa that would allow him to attend a peace conference happening this month.
South Africa, which, as of a couple years ago, had always been a mainstay...
Read more »
The Truant, continuing with our long tradition of affecting change and taking on tough, complex issues that face our society as a whole, have founded the Utah Anti-Bad-Pornography League.
“The staff here at The Truant has decided that good porn is every man’s right here in our home state of Utah, [the largest consumer of...
Read more »
LOGAN, UTAH – As a flood of bad news continues to soak the country in economic woes, the recession has begun to rear its ugly head in the most rural of American cities. Today a town barely able to boast more than 40,000 registered white people is seeing the doors close...
Read more »
